


Then You Come Swimming Into View

by soft_satan



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Drowning, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-31 04:01:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21439888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soft_satan/pseuds/soft_satan
Summary: As long as he was mindful of his triggers, he could keep his anxiety under control. It was no big deal. There was no reason to let anyone in on his little secret.But maybe it would have been smart to tell at least one person on his team.Maybe then he wouldn’t have drowned.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 25
Kudos: 687





	Then You Come Swimming Into View

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from "The Background" by Third Eye Blind because I love naming Buddie fics with the lyrics of one of my favorite bands and also listening to Third Eye Blind, crying, and writing Buddie fic is all I've been doing lately.
> 
> Also I know nothing about in-ground pools and their filtration systems, so sorry if this is complete bullshit. I just needed to get Buck near a body of water.

Buck was happy to be back in the swing of things. He was back to work, his team had forgiven him and they had returned to their familial dynamic that he loved so much. Most importantly, however, Eddie had forgiven him, and the two of them were back in sync, doing their job together with little to no need for verbal communication. Everything was officially back to normal.

At least, that’s what he wanted to believe. Fake it til you make it, right? That’s what Buck was determined to do. Everything external was back to normal, but inside, the scars had barely started to heal. He was having issues with anxiety, but he did his best to manage it. He was no stranger to post traumatic stress, after the childhood he’d had, but familiarity didn’t make dealing with it any easier. But he did deal with it, all without ever letting anyone else suspect a thing. For that, he was thankful. The last thing he needed to do was give the team, his family, one more thing to worry about. So when they rode in the ladder truck and he got a flashback to the night of the bomb, he stared out of the window and forced himself to focus on the scenery flying by to keep himself grounded in the moment. When Maddie had invited him to join her and Chimney for a beach day, he had convincingly lied about having made plans with Christopher and not wanting to let the kid down. As long as he was mindful of his triggers, he could keep his anxiety under control. It was no big deal. There was no reason to let anyone in on his little secret.

But maybe it would have been smart to tell at least one person on his team.

Maybe then he wouldn’t have drowned.

It was an uneventful call in the beginning. The victim, a teenage boy named Dylan, had dropped his bracelet into the pool and it had gotten sucked into the filter vent. He’d gotten into the pool and stuck his hand in to get it, and had gotten stuck. His friend, Billy, had called 911 for help getting him out. The team showed up, assessed the situation, and quickly got to work. It was admittedly a little terrifying to be so close to a body of water, but Buck focused on breathing deep and following Bobby’s leadership, doing what needed to be done to help the kid. However, when Bobby had ordered him to get into the water and help hold the kid up and still so that they could cut through the concrete, Buck immediately felt the color drain from his face and his chest tighten. He hesitated, stuttered, and briefly considered pulling Bobby aside to tell him exactly why he was not able to do that, when he ended up not having to. Eddie must have seen the way he had reacted, because he volunteered to do it without hesitation. Buck shot Eddie a grateful look, and Eddie returned it with a concerned twitch of his brow and a nod. He knew Eddie would be checking in on him later, but for now, they had a job to do. It wasn’t quick or easy, but they managed to get the kid unstuck with very little injury.

Which was probably why the universe had decided to pick on Buck again. Just to keep things interesting.

As he and Eddie gathered their tools, Buck tried to stay as far away from the pool as he could without looking too suspicious, but nothing got passed his best friend.

“You okay?” Eddie asked, keeping his voice low so that the others didn’t hear. “You looked like you were about to panic when Cap ordered you into the pool.”

Buck instantly felt heat creep up his cheeks but still attempted to give his usual self-assured grin. “Yeah, totally. I just hate getting my socks wet is all.”

Eddie gave him a look that clearly said “bitch, please.” “Buck…” he warned.

Looking Eddie in the eyes, Buck dropped all façade for a moment, hoping that the other man could read his sincerity. “I’m fine, Eddie. But thanks for, you know… volunteering.”

Eddie smiled warmly as he passed Buck, on his way to the truck with one of the tool bags. “Anytime.”

Buck watched him leave, still holding the other tool kit. Bobby was talking to the teens, probably about the damages to the pool and how to explain it to their parents. Hen and Chim were packing up the ambulance, getting ready to head out. All they had left to grab was the diamond-cut saw, sitting at the edge of the pool where it had been used to free the teen. Buck gulped, feeling his heartrate increase as he took the first step toward the pool. It was stupid, he told himself. He didn’t have to get into the pool, just step up beside it and grab the saw. He could do that. It was no big deal. He stepped over the chunks of tile and concrete, careful to avoid any wet spots, and grabbed the saw, thoroughly proud of himself. He shot the pool a proud glare, sticking his tongue out at the water.

Suddenly feeling overly-confident, he turned on his heel and took a step without looking first, and that would be his downfall. As his foot landed on a loose piece of tile sitting on the wet edge of the pool, the chunk of ceramic slid. Thankfully, the sudden feeling of slipping was enough of a shock to make Buck’s hands open and drop the sharp saw he was carrying, but that was the only upside to what happened. Hitting the water felt like hitting a hardwood floor, but then he kept going, sinking like a rock to the blue tile.

He flailed desperately for something to grab onto, to steady himself, as images of fighting against a tsunami took over his mind. He was back in the murky water, clawing his way to the surface, struggling for control, searching for Christopher, panic constricting his chest. He couldn’t stop himself from gasping desperately, but he immediately regretted it as cold water filled his lungs. As the blue glow around him started to dim, a dark figure appeared in front of him, moving toward him as everything faded to black.

…

Eddie looked up at the sound of a huge splash, immediately noticing that Buck was no longer where he once stood beside the pool. A twinge of worry twisted in his gut, even though he knew that Buck was a strong swimmer.

“Oh man, I wish I had that on video!” Chim laughed. “Did you guys see that?”

Hen was cackling. “His face!”

Eddie didn’t laugh as the worry in the pit of his stomach quickly turned to panic the longer Buck stayed under.

“Why isn’t he coming up?” Bobby asked, Chim and Hen sobering immediately at the twinge of concern in their Captain’s voice.

Eddie took off running for the pool without another second of hesitation, barely managing to strip off his belt and toss it to the ground on his way before diving straight in.

The image of Buck floating lifelessly at the bottom of the pool, eyes closed and mouth agape, was sure to haunt Eddie for years to come. He wasted no time hooking his arms under Buck’s, dragging him along as Eddie swam up. By the time he broke the surface, gasping for air and trying his best to get Buck’s head above water, Bobby was in the water too, Hen and Chim on the edge waiting to help. Bobby grabbed Buck’s other arm, helping Eddie swim Buck's limp form to the edge of the pool. Between the four of them, they got Buck out of the water and onto solid ground, but that would prove to be the easy part.

“He’s not breathing!” Hen said, immediately beginning chest compressions.

All of the jargon that Hen and Chim were speaking was lost on Eddie as he dragged himself out of the water, breathlessly crawling the few feet to be by Buck’s side. Chim had a bag mask over Buck’s face, giving him breaths every time Hen paused with the compressions. Eddie could feel the tears spilling from his eyes, mixing with the chlorinated water that had already soaked his skin. His chest ached seeing the bluish hue that had come to Buck’s usually bright pink lips.

“Come on, kid,” he heard Bobby whisper, standing somewhere to Eddie’s right. “Not today. Not like this.”

Eddie never thought a gurgle could be such a beautiful sound. Buck’s chest began jerking as he sputtered, and Hen was quick to turn him onto his side as he began coughing up pool water, gasping desperately for air as his eyes shot open. A collective sigh passed over the group, but the relief was short-lived as Buck sat up, a sightless panic in his wide eyes.

“Whoa, Buck! Calm down. You’re okay. You need to lie back down,” Chim tried to sooth, a hand on Buck's shoulder.

Buck just shook his head, gasping for breath and choking on words. “Chris… Christopher. I have… to find… I lost him…” Buck moved to stand up, jerking away violently when Hen tried to stop him. "I have to find Christopher!"

“Evan!” Eddie all but shouted over Buck’s panicked rambling, gently grabbing the man by the face and turning him to look him in the eye. Buck froze, looking at Eddie with pure fear and panic in his tear-filled eyes. Suddenly, the panic made sense. Eddie had seen this many times before with his veteran friends. Buck was right in front of him, but at the same time, he was somewhere else entirely. And he knew exactly where. “Breathe, Buck. Christopher is safe, and so are you.”

Buck was trembling as his hand slowly came up to cover Eddie’s. He could see the realization set in as Buck returned to the present, his ragged breathing finally starting to calm down. “Eddie…” he breathed, glancing around at his other teammates.

“You back with us, kid?” Bobby asked gently, kneeling down at Buck’s feet and laying a comforting hand on his leg.

Buck nodded as his face started to contort, and all at once he crumbled into sobs. Eddie pulled him into his chest, tucking Buck’s head under his chin and wrapping his arms around him. Rocking him back and forth, he whispered and shushed, running a hand over Buck’s wet hair.

“Go get the stretcher,” Bobby ordered softly. “We should take him to get checked out.”

“On it, Cap,” Chim agreed, leaping up into action.

…

Buck hadn’t said anything since coming out of the panicked state he'd been in after waking up. As much water as he had inhaled, Bobby was insistent that Buck be fully evaluated. So there Buck laid in a hospital bed once again, Eddie having not left his side for even a second the entire hour they'd been there. The rest of the team were in the waiting room with Maddie, who was surprisingly supportive of Eddie staying with Buck when the nurse had told her only one visitor was allowed. She had seen the comfort he brought Buck and accepted that he was what Buck needed at the moment.

Buck was still trembling now and then, even with LAFD sweats on and a thick blanket pulled up to his chin, his body curled up on his side on the bed as he stared off into space. He looked exhausted, but every time Eddie had encouraged him to try and sleep, Buck had only shaken his head in response. Eddie sat in the chair beside him, wearing sweats that matched Buck's. Eddie couldn't take his eyes off of him, but Buck hadn't met his eyes since the moment before he'd broken down.

“What happened to you is normal, ” said Eddie, keeping his tone soft and low. “You've been through a lot in a short amount of time. You’re still trying to process it all.” He reached out, covering Buck's hand with his own, happy that Buck didn't pull away. “You're not broken.”

“The second I hit the water, I was back in the tsunami,” Buck whispered, voice scratchy and weak. “I panicked.”

“It's happened to me.” Eddie admitted, and finally Buck looked him in the eye. “You're not alone.”

“I know,” Buck nodded, squeezing Eddie's hand. “That's why I'm still alive.”

Eddie's smile was soft as he leaned in, his free hand coming to gently and lovingly pat Buck's cheek. “You're gonna be okay, kid.”

Buck's smile was all it took to assure Eddie that he was right. Buck was gonna be okay.


End file.
